The Nesnah Ynnej Family

ventral tegmental area

2012-02-14T11:49:00.000-07:00

Upon somewhat mutual agreement,

my most recent relationship with a boy

ended last week.

and somehow I am still in love with life.

Enduring situations that don't not go the way you thought,

or end the way you expected happen to us all the time.

But it seems this type of adversity has never truly

kept me on the ground.

I love a burpee for the simple truth that I

know I'm hitting the ground and getting right

back up, over and over again.

_________________________________________

Today's is Valentine's Day.

The day of love according to the world...

Then why am I so darn happy, if according to the standards of the

world, today should be that day of single awareness.

You know the one.. where you look for any type of

emotional cave or crawl space to climb into.

For me, I don't progress that well,

I'm taller for a girl, only almost 5'8,

my body doesnt bend the way it used to,

and when it does, I can't hold a position

long enough that doesnt cause pain,

from the simple release of that position.

I guess my body shape and size is not the real reason,

I don't seek and hide from days of celebration.

So why would I celebrate it,

Well, I actually can't help it and wouldn't

want to. I'm wired that way.

so lets talk about love according to the brain.

The human brain can be catergorized into

different compartments, areas....

The

ventral tegmental area

This is the dopamine area

where we experience intense feelings

and emotions... even those of "love"

Dopamine is sent to many brain regions,

it works as a stimulatant.

We experience so many emotions through the release of dopamine.

And some doctors have said that this can drive a person to find their mate,

their mate for life.

So it really isn't always about the heart then is it.

The VTA is located at the base of the brain, sort of in the center.

To me, it seems its protected by all the other areas of the brain...

interesting...

But what about your heart pounding and butterflies in your stomach..

These are from the chemical in your body called

Norepinephrine.

So when you can't get this person off your mind,

you cant blame it on your heart

but your level of dopamine and Norepinephrine in your brain.

my weekend

2012-02-13T18:21:00.002-07:00

2012-02-08T16:31:00.003-07:00

mental attribute

2012-02-06T16:30:00.002-07:00

"Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, "This is the real me," and when you have found that attitude, follow it."- William James

2012-02-01T15:43:00.001-07:00

bom-sha-clack-clack

2012-01-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

bom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clackbom-sha-clack-clack

how can I not be

2012-01-28T17:05:00.003-07:00

Brands

2012-01-25T23:22:00.001-07:00

today at the beach

2012-01-25T15:58:00.000-07:00

Sunday's lesson

2012-01-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

As I studied today's lesson for Relief Society,

which starts at 4:00 p.m!

A couple quotes and phrases are resonating with me.

The lesson:

Waiting upon the Lord: Thy Will Be Done

_______________________________________________________________

He exercised His agency

to suffer for our sins.

exercising His agency

to forgive His enemies.

wait upon the Lord, wait upon the Lord

This truly is the means to which

we become close to our Father in Heaven.

_________________________

we may be called upon to endure

His blessings are eternal, not temporary.

Waiting upon the Lord gives

us a priceless opportunity

to discover that there are

many who wait upon us.

TY MLK JR

2012-01-16T17:50:00.000-07:00

My Dad, do you know him?

2012-01-15T21:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know how it happened,

but my parents made a very good choice

when they made the decision to co-exist together.

They brought 8 children into the world.

There came with that alot of laughter and joy.

We all fell in love with each other as we fought

out our battles on our sides of the room.

When it came time to discipline each of us,

it was done differently.

You could have spanked me all day and I would

have repeated my offenses.

Years later my parents example has continued to bless my life..

but more than that...

I think about my father.

He is so grand.

He taught me something very unique over

Christmas break.

He is fair with all of his 8 children,

however he does not treat them all the same.

I think this is also a characteristic of the nature of God.

In his knowledge, He knows what is best for us,

he tailors experiences for our benefit,

and because we are all different,

no one situation will be the same.

My father is the same with me.

He deals with me fairly

yet his approach and method is

different because I'm Jenny.

And I'm so grateful for this lesson.

To understand fairness is to know the difference

between something being tailored to our needs and

the random auto answer.

Thanks Dad, for knowing my potential before I realized it and for the patience for me to realize it

on my own. love you.

2012-01-10T17:43:00.000-07:00

You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
Oh you think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I still choose you
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will

2011-12-29T20:54:00.001-07:00

DESKTOP DUMP

2011-12-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

I don't know how I lucked out.

I don't know how I was so blessed to receive the parents that I did.

I saw this and I think one of my siblings wrote it.

Okay, not really, but I wish i would of.

This is my mother.

I recently watched the film:

THE TREE OF LIFE

its changed me. again... as any good worthy film should.

One day...maybe...

My dad's advice about falling in love.

A logo my graphic designer is working on.

www.samdemastrie.com

He is so great!

I loved this quote.

Even though I have a crush on a boy, I feel like I don't

have walls to my heart.

I just don't know who to rebuilt.

I can build...

just not re build...yet

Confidence..... it has a long life if you're asking me.

Confession are usually always very good things.

We all should experience what Tom Hansen experienced.

Grinch Beat down

2011-12-25T12:42:00.001-07:00

Grinch Beat down

____________________________

Even though my parents always spoiled us for Christmas,

We knew what this season was really about.

We were asked to give up some of our favorite presents so

others could feel the joy and love of receiving service.

We were giving gifts and serving others as we tried to

de commercialize our own Christmas season.

These experiences allowed me to look

for opportunities to serve on my mission.

Those experiences were very good, and after years away from that full time

service, today it was rekindled.

I flew home on the 23rd, and was greeted in Utah with a chest cold and

17 degrees chill at night.

Christmas Eve, as my mother and I were making her homemade cheesecake,

OUR CHRISTMAS TREE FELL DOWN!

ha.

Later than night, my nephew and I were rough housing it and

he fell on my face.

I woke up with a black eye and that chest cold,

overwhelming my ability to

jump out of bed.

But I did it anyways.

__________________________________

I went to church with my parents and little brother.

My father was asked to speak.

He is assigned as a branch clerk over the

Wasatch Care Center. Assisted Care and or Rest Home.

As we walk in, we are embraced by very old smiles and those typical smells.

I feel bad for noticing the scent.

We set up chairs as employees wheel patients in, creating rows instead of pews.

The portable pulpit sits infront of a stone fire place.

The sacrament is prepped on a small round dinner table, where my Father lays the

table cloth out.

There is Christmas music playing from the television, its the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

I begin feeling the spirit, as I look around. There are more patients that visitors.

The T.V. is turned off and we are welcomed to the meeting by a member of the bishopric.

We begin by singing Christmas songs.

Be near me, Lord Jesus,

I ask Thee to stay

Close by me forever,

and love me, I pray.

Bless all the dear children

in thy tender care,

And take us to heaven,

to live with Thee there.

My father and little brother prepare the sacrament.

The sacrament is blessed and two gentlemen begin passing it to the congregation.

One of them is an adult, with the mind of a 12 year old. Later my mother

tells me how much he loves hugs. I wish I would have known that earlier.

I love hugs too.

Later, my father also tells me how smart he is.

The patients on the front row can't partake of the sacrament themselves.

In that very moment, the sacrament and it's meaning is magnified.

It's Christmas, and now it's meaning is magnified.

My father was always about us giving to others that could not give to themselves.

Christmas has always been about giving to others that cannot give to themselves.

And now its Sunday, Christmas.

The Atonement is magnified in my heart as I watch an older grandmotherly woman helping others.

She gets up from her seat along the side of the wall.

Her back is bent a little, but she gets the bread for those patients who cannot use their hands.

She hand feds them the bread and places it in their mouth.

I think of the stories in the New Testament and

the Book of Mormon.

I think of the Savior,

I am full of emotion as this women feeds the sacrament to those who can't do it for themselves.

Even though this care center is located on the busiest east bench street in Ogden,

I can't hear the traffic anymore, and I can't smell the

aged perfumes and scents.

The sacrament ends and I'm overwhelmed by the spirit.

I simply want to cry.

My Father approaches the pulpit to share his Christmas message,

He begins by quoting

"The Grinch who stole Christmas."

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
― Dr. Seuss

There was more to his message, which was very good.

But today, I learned more about the Sabbath and Christmas,

and the relation that have to each other.

Weeks ago, my parents called me in Connecticut and

inquired what I wanted to Christmas,

and only one thing came to my mind.

I wanted a personal copy of my parents favorite doctrinal books.

My dad bought me Christ and the New Covenant by

Jeffrey R. Holland

And my mother bought me her favorite doctrinal books:

The best gift I received

was the very gift of opening my heart to

renew my testimony of the Savior, that He lives,

and through his teachings, I can return to Him one day.

2011-12-20T16:09:00.001-07:00

I love New York City

2011-12-14T13:52:00.001-07:00

bad listener

2011-12-06T19:23:00.001-07:00

2011-11-30T08:54:00.001-07:00

Proof I am an art nerd.

I love stuff like this:

A heart

2011-11-27T07:06:00.000-07:00

A heart

Luke 21

Be patient with yourself.

don't demand things that are unreasonable.

But demand of yourself improvement.

Let the Lord help you through it,

He will make the difference.

Examples of Story Telling

2011-11-22T15:39:00.000-07:00

I love a good story.

Especially new non-fiction stories.

I have always wanted to be

conversational artist.

I love people who embrace their own stories.

And they attract other people

who have their own stories

He comes with something more than rap.

He comes with his story.

2011-11-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

yummmm

2011-11-16T11:25:00.001-07:00

2011-11-15T08:57:00.002-07:00

My gratitude is growing, to understand better that true, real, raw competition isn't with others, but against the little voice inside your head that wants you to quit. Compete against your weakness. no one else can defeat it.

BEST MORMON MESSAGE EVER!

2011-11-10T10:44:00.001-07:00

I'm grateful for my mother.

2011-11-10T10:18:00.001-07:00

2011-11-07T10:48:00.001-07:00

Perchè tu mi piaci (Because I Like You)

2011-11-03T10:57:00.000-06:00

Perché tu mi piaci. from CRIC on Vimeo.

public

2011-11-02T14:23:00.000-06:00

Lately i haven't really wanted to write anything for the public to read.

I wonder was that is.

I wrote 4,000 words on monday and have written everyday since.

not nothing public... until now..

here it goes.

__________________

Fall down nine times,

Stand up ten.

_______________________

_________________

People say life is short and you need to

live to the fullest, because you never know when you

are going to get hit by a bus.

What are the odds of that?

Make good and wise choices everyday.

Because most of you will have 50 years to reflect upon the

consequences of those choices.

__________________________

_______________

Gratitude to me

is simply

smiling

when

don't

want

to.

________

__________________

Recently, I have

been treated like a lady,

which helped

me see, I was never

really acting like

one before.

humbled

that I was

exposed to a gentleman

that demanded a lady

by his simple

presence.

___________________

__________________________

A acquire something new,

something you have never had,

You must do new things,

you must do things

you have never done.

I don't think I even really

know what it means

to do this things

with all I've got.

________________________

___________________

Let.your.past.make.you.better.not.bitter

What is love?

2011-10-23T15:58:00.000-06:00

Q: What is love?

It is when you have someone in your mind.
~Caroline, age 7

Love is when two people really, really, really like each other.
~Olive, age 6

A hug and a kiss.
~Peter, age 4

I don’t know … umm i think it’s a duck.
~Lily, age 4

Go to sleep, wake up, and laugh.
~Layla, age 2

I don’t know. I just don’t know.
~Naden, age 9

Marriage, sweethearts, and Valentine’s Day.

~Brooklyn, age 10

Q: How do you know when two people are in love?

Because they get married! They love each other because they just love each other.
~Lily, age 4

Because my heart is growing.
~Evan, age 4

They go on dates. They are together a lot. A lot.
~Carly, age 6

When you like someone and they like you back.
~Avery, age 7

You have to kiss them and then they marry each other.
~Abby, age 4

original source:

www.ldsliving.org

2011-10-14T12:02:00.000-06:00

My Dad is an Inventor.

A friend who hasn’t met my

dad, asked me if he had a long

white beard. With that imagery so

many thoughts came to mind.

You remember the father in the film

beauty and the beast.

Haha.

My dad is first a father

and then a husband to my mom.

With her support,

He has emerged great ideas and

that example resonates with me.

I look at each of my siblings.

Each of them have been developing

their innate abilities to create things they love.

_________________________________________________

When were were little, I believe my Mom stumbled upon

some purple lightweight fabric, or my dad told her he

wanted to make a 12 foot kite.

Despite the details, this 12 foot kite was born,

It was two shades of purple and was about 5 feet high.

My Dad designed and my Mom put her amazing sewing skills to work.

We.thought.we.were.the.coolest.kids.in.the.neighborhood.

We actually still feel this way, and we still have this kite.

The kite was so big, it needed a strong string or twine or rope.

Who uses rope to fall a kite? Yes. It’s true, only the Hansens.

We headed up the streets to park where my dad flew this kite

as all 8 of us kids, watched it lift off and soar through the air.

We live very close to a mountain, and so this huge kite did

not need a lot of wind, and when it reached a gust, the rope

would break. and the kite was set free.

We watched it sail effortlessly through the blue sky. It was only seconds

after the kite was separated from us and the rope did we fear its destination

to the ground.

Where was it going to land?

Were we going to be able to recover it?

Each time the kite rope broke, or the kite was damaged from the

fall, my dad would reinvent the kite,

Soon our kite had stronger rope tied to it,

it was so much rope that it

had to be connected to an powered screwdriver

mechanism that allowed more power to wind or release

the rope, depending on the day, the climate, and

ultimately the weather.

Sometimes the boys in the family

flew this kite late into the night,

and upon returning, would

discuss methods to add lights to

our large family kite.

We even made a mini hot air balloon from the same

fabric, alas, it did not last the way the kite did.

Do you know why?

It did not have a rope or string attached.

The kite had duct tape on many of its corners to

reinforce the poles and protect it’s flight.

I wondered what would

have happened

if my dad wasn’t there to help us, He taught us

how much rope to release once it was up in the air.

I wondered what would have happened if we hadn’t

of reinvent and redone the rope to make it stronger.

Summers went by and we grew up.

Our kite sat in the garage.

It’s still there.

We moved on to a Parasail for our boat.

The commandments are like unto a kite string.

The Lord in his infinite love wants to bless us,

He wants us to feel His love and ultimately

He wants us to experience the life He lives.

Our experience in this life will be full of so many

days where we may not understand why the

“wind” is blowing so hard.

Some days we might not even be

able to get our kite in the sky..

But remember,

Joy and Happiness are

our birthright and

The commandments are given to us to

protect us from crashing into unknown and unsafe boundaries.

They are given to us to help us have a higher perspective.

Commandments are given to us to help us feel closer to

our Father in Heaven....

Sometimes we just need to “reel it in.”

As as child

or even an adult

you may assume

the kite string

is holding the kite down

and as you hold the string you can feel the kite tugging to be set free.

You imagine that if you let go of the string,

the kite would soar off into the atmosphere.

But in reality if you let go of the string, what happens to the kite? It plummets to the earth.

The commandments are like the kite string. They appear to others to be holding us down, keeping us from soaring, when in reality it is our obedience
to the commandments that allow us to reach our highest potential as sons and daughters of Heavenly Father.

We are the kite.

the commandments the kite string that

enables us to do and become who he needs us to be.

To the purple 12 foot kite in my parents garage,

Thank you.

To the two parents that some how knew

how much rope to let me ascend with,

Thank you.

To the Ultimate Master Kite Flyer,

Thank Thee For all

these experiences.

The Parable of the Cannoli

2011-10-13T13:33:00.001-06:00

Something happened to me right before

I got into my first real car accident.

I live in Greenwich, CT

right now. I have a really fun

job and I love the area.

Two weeks after moving here,

I had been familiar with

the grocery stores,

the libraries and

the roads.

One night I was at the grocery store,

walking past the bakery..

And there it was starring me

back in the face.

It wanted me to

take it home.

It was a cannoli

There was no one else around.

No cashier, no sales clerk.

SO MAYBE I DIDNT NEED ONE.

I wanted one so bad, I tracked someone down.

She had never worked in the bakery.

and didn't know the prices anyways,

how was I supposed to purchase it?

SO MAYBE I DIDNT NEED ONE.

She decided to give me a deal, but then she whispered and

looked around alot, like this deal was a secret deal,

She said 2.50 and piled four into a carton.

And set one aside for herself.

I wondered the real price of these.

I wondered this for days, and soon,

I did not feel good about my cannoli indulgence..

hmm..symbolic.

So I headed back to that bakery to pay the difference.

No one sells a cannoli for 2.50

let alone 2.50 for 4.

As I approached the bakery counter the Bakery Manager came out with two of his employees and

listened to my story

as I explained that I needed to pay the difference.

When I asked him the price of one cannoli,

he said: 3.99

I was obviously in debt to them.

"how much do I owe you?"

"You came back to the bakery to

tell me you owe me? Your honesty is your payment."

"are you sure? I questioned him.

Yes, he slipped into the back and his employee

asked where I was from.

Utah.

"oh, are you a mormon?"

"yes"

"Was it your mormon honesty

that brought you back

to the bakery today?"

"yes"

He gave me a free cannoli

and I left

repeating the experience in my mind.

Mormon honesty

Your honesty is your payment.

I did not want a cannoli as

payment

I did not seek praises of man.

I seek honesty with myself,

with the Lord and with those around.

I'm grateful for the ushering of the still small voice.

For he reminded me, small things make a difference.

I have new friends at the bakery, that know

they can count of me for honesty.

This has heightened my sense of honesty.

and I don't buy any more cannoli(s)....

No because of the experience,

but because I don't need them..

This little parable,

this little stuffed shell,

holds a memory in my

heart for

your honesty is your payment.

my family

2011-10-10T22:11:00.000-06:00

or here

My eternal family!

Editing this video, made me want babies..

Better go find that man...

I can't sleep

2011-10-06T00:19:00.000-06:00

I can't sleep, and I havent been blogging with words and sentences lately.

and I'm sorry to myself for that.

but tomorrow, good things await me.

I love life still.

I appreciate those that have enrich the lives of others.

I know we are built to do hard things.

and we just must make the choice to do hard things.

2011-10-05T22:50:00.001-06:00

I'm waiting for this song to mean something to me:

2011-10-05T18:01:00.002-06:00

Steve Jobs

Looking Up

2011-10-05T11:16:00.002-06:00

click here

2011-09-25T19:08:00.000-06:00

a repost

2011-09-20T09:49:00.000-06:00

There are moments in life

when you wish

you could bring someone down from Heaven.

Spend the day with them just one more time,

give them

one more hug,

kiss them goodbye

or hear their voice again.

One more chance to say I LOVE YOU.

Copy and paste in remembrance

of someone who is not here.

(my late soccer coach's daughter posted this text on facebook and I couldn't not repost.)

2011-09-19T14:50:00.001-06:00

me.my.life

2011-09-10T14:24:00.001-06:00

2011-09-06T17:40:00.000-06:00

running thoughts.

2011-09-05T14:19:00.002-06:00

That ye may prosper part three

1.“ The right way is to give one’s attention first to

the highest good of the young,

just as you expect a good gardener to give

his attention first to the young plants,

and after that to the others.”

-Socrates, 470-399 BC

It seems we visually and even mentally go after

the most fruit bearing tree to

feed ourselves. Do we ever

just eat to live

and follow Socrates words.

How much of us would change as we thought the way a gardener does?

It’s important to be self directed. Why? Well when you have made decisions from the inside first, you are less likely to shift that choice and give heed to outside voices, that may not have the same priority as you do. If you established a set of boundaries for ourselves within which we plan to live of lives, and how will you will not live your life, I think your level of happiness through out life..will be exactly that.. yours.
Running and exercise is good for your body. It’s important that you schedule it in. The exact same with prayer. When you are done praying or accomplish a workout, you are always pleased by the process or the product.
I promise that your life may not always be good and happy and perfect, but I can tell you that living a personal worthy life will protect you from oppression of fear and terror. Bad things happen to good people all the time. But you will have the courage to establish this protection through your thoughts and your actions.
Our attitudes will always need to be rejuvenated and refined, this is also always within reach. As we live right, it seems the world will conspire to our benefit.
Faith requires that I go first. First to my knees. First to those in need before myself. First enables the Lord to bestow additional blessings to us. The ability of first, to give back first, seems to be a prerequisite to my happiness, my choices and my success. First sounds like thirst...interesting.
Once we commit to a higher standard and living, in anything that we do, it requires the work but the product will match it. Some of your best days will come when your choices, and your commit line up. Thomas Edison, my 6th cousin, 6 times removed said: “I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2,000-step process.” He teaches us to find your passions, identify an objective, always work at it, and most importantly, stick at it, exercise that bucket of patience you have been building up.
Partake in life and leave something behind.
Hearing about something and actually having it are two completely different things.
The most empowering thing I have done in my life was identifying a weakness. My world opened up and I understand myself so much better, I got to know this weakness, Yes, I work on one at a time. As I focused on this particular weakness and made small steps, something interesting happened. Some of my strengths got stronger and my weakness became easier to overcome. I still choice to live with alot of them, but now, I know what they are and how they affect my decisions and my daily life. The choices I make to work on them, result in my results, when I’m off course, I change direction, but only a little, because I have a great destination in mind.
Share what you learn. you will 1. remember it better 2. enrich others lives.

2011-09-03T18:26:00.000-06:00

September Visiting Teaching Message.

2011-09-01T13:16:00.002-06:00

There is so much true here.

I highlighted the portions that stuck out to me.

I hope this message strikes a cord with your soul too.

I just think there are ways for us to step it up.

one more stair, one more bite and one more blog post.hehe

10 nuggets, another fast read.

2011-09-01T08:33:00.001-06:00

So remember those adapted Jenny Hansen Rules...
i have some more,
but I don't want to feel like a restricting mother,
so I would like to share
10 new nuggets with you.
They don't have to be rules.
unless you need them to be.

Nuggets of Knowledge for September.

One decision is actually a compilation of a series of decisions. we do not wake up one day and say: How did I get here? (there is evidence of a path)
Abundance can be created. And the more we create of it, the more we have to share of it. Imagine creating abundance just enough to not share it. It almost doesn’t make sense.
Remember the happiest time in your life...emulate the characteristics you used at that same time.
We need to commit to learn more about ourselves, the good, but especially the bad. Recognizing the bad, allows us to filter and change and come closer to who we need to become.
Pay attention to who you naturally attract and pay attention to who is attracted to you. Natural is always better. I promise you. Its stronger, it lasts longer, its based on more substance and more importantly, in a way, its something uncontrollably good.
What decisions in your life would change if you knew your primary responsibility is to benefit others?
Hard times are actually a foretaste of enhancers of success. The hard times make us love the success more. I know you must be thanking all those lousy ex-boyfriends, now that you have the best husband ever!
Reflect on the day and be willing to answer: How did I improve today?
Think of sacrifices as exchanges, and vice versa.
earlier equals greater. always.

10.1. Remember inner-direction has less road construction. Listen to yourself.

10.2. Your best self will make mistakes... We gotta get the bad out somehow!

10 rules, its a fast read.

2011-08-31T08:39:00.001-06:00

I just found out I'm related to Thomas Edison:

He says: There is always a better way.

_______________________

Some of you know

I move away from

Ogden Proper

Weber County

Utah

one of my going away/birthday presents

was a book from Rachel LeNeve Artistry.

She knows the way to my heart is

high end fake eye lashes and spiritual power.

not.in.that.order.

And so it came to pass that i just finished:

That ye may

PROSPER

The back jacket talks about humbling people.

so I am certain she thought it would be perfect for me.

She giggled aloud as she read the back to me.

So I tackled it. and came up with the

Jenny Hansen RULES of prospering,

foreword by the Holy Ghost, I hope. and pray.

1. Find ample time to express yourself to the Lord.

2. We only have one shot here at life, YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF and your creator to use your talents.

3. Remember you have the capacity to grow independently from your own personal experience, and its kind of a right, passage and responsibility.

4. action is always, always better than thinking about action.

5. Study the life of those that have succeeded in your eyes.

6. Faith is about exceeding boundaries you have set for yourself... I recently got "played" by a guy. and I lived by this. I put my faith OUT THERE!!! then he made the biggest mistake of his life..hehe.. seriously, having faith gives you the ability to make choices and place yourselves in positions that are GOOD..even if the outcome isn't ideal.. growth comes.

7. We need resistance to get stronger.

8. If we don't push ourselves, how can we feel God pushing us or helping us?

9. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS ROUTINE BLESSINGS.. D&C says so..i.e. Heavenly Father

10. Focus on what makes you look good to Heavenly Father and not to any one else.

This has been a special broadcast from Cos Cob, CT

(stepping off Soap box)

Jenfolio, the artist formally as Jenny, who was formally know as J.lee who was formally known as Jennifer,

who will also be "sister hansen"

My Favorite EASE

2011-08-29T23:29:00.000-06:00

I had full intentions of reading the Word

praying

and then slipping into bed

sleep

and some thoughtful inception dream.

But i read something in Helaman 12

Do you see that inside the word increase is the word ease?

Essentially this scripture teaches us that when we increase and prosper, we are often led to

thank the lord and then to sit back.

But what about all the people who are always uneasy? does this scripture, this principle apply to them.

sometimes i never feel at ease.

Death is our Universal Heritage and I'm alive.

2011-08-29T00:36:00.001-06:00

I can't sleep.

I'm trying to train my body to this new time zone.

And I just finished texting a "boy" who was a "man" before the conversation

started.

HE MADE ME SO ....

and so you know what I did.

I started comparing him to you.

in my mind after I turned off my phone and unplugged it.

And that isn't really that fair.

but it was honest.

and I am trying to align those two things.

Fairness and Honesty.

You would understand that. You were my best friend for so long.

I visited cemeteries much more before you passed away.

And I lay here thinking...

and I can't sleep in this new home of mine, so I'm left thinking of you.

And I'm okay. I'll always miss you.

but tonight, its a little teeny tiny bit worse.

______________________________________

Dig me deep in the ground

cause i want to be close to you

you sleep like you'll never wake up

and i know, cause i'm dreaming too

dig you deep in the ground

cause you want to grow tall like we do

but you're roots are tying you down

and i know, cause i'm tied down too

When you have two feet on the ground

don't grow up, grow down

even when i sleep,

i'm listening to my heartbeat

to tell me, i'm alive

i dug you out of the ground

cause apart of me died, when you died too

and you said time is all that we have

and i know, cause it's true.

_____________________________

President Monson said:

I'm grateful for life.

for experiences

for emotions that are so dark,

I feel more alive.

Life isn't perfect, and thats okay too.

Have an awesome day. and be sure to get much accomplished before noon.

xoxo

2011-08-28T11:34:00.000-06:00

Dear Tropical Storm Irene,

Pluto was demoted too, but we still remember him.

Sincerely, Jenny

p.s. church is cancelled, which should be the greatest of all flattery.

The Energy of Readiness

2011-08-27T19:52:00.001-06:00

I turn to music alot, and I feel like it speaks to me as well.

Here is one to you, Miss Hurricane Irene!

2011-08-25T11:33:00.000-06:00

Still reaching

How do you feel about a good stretch?

It's when you place yourself in a situation that is somewhat comfortable and somewhat vulnerable,
and you progress... and if you keep doing it... it gets better and better..

And that is one way to fill the measure of your best self, of your potential,

more importantly, of who you WANT TO BE AND BECOME..

still reaching.

2011-08-17T13:44:00.001-06:00

All mothers are super heroes too.

Let's talk about Depression, or at least what I know about it.

2011-08-10T10:48:00.000-06:00

Depression defined:

Depression is a common mental disorder that presents with depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, low energy, and poor concentration.

I have experienced loss of interest with plenty of things.

I have felt guilt and even low worth.

I have not been diagnosed by a Dr.

and I dont take any medicine, except vitamin gummies

and viactiv (its for calcium and looks and taste like a tootsie roll)

I would say we all feel many of these emotions.

I literally believe that Creation curbs depression,

or at least weakens it.

When we do new things, and create, it's stimulating.

It changes "things" in our brain.

Yesterday I filmed this

view original source at the bottom to see the video.

It was a great time, with a great friend of mine.

We met as fellow art students, so when we get together, its pure fun and creating new things.

Let us ponder this principle to make sense of the previous comment:

I think we just need to feed our brain more good things:

It's about listening to what is real.

2011-08-09T10:42:00.001-06:00

I woke up this morning and started it the most normal way.

I check my messages from my phone in bed.

I let my dog out.

I knelt in pray and then I logon on to facebook. haha.

And I was completely humbled, when I found this.

A couple of days ago, I wrote a post about who I am.

I feel like I know spiritually.

But there is this huge gap I wonder about.

What and Who will I become when I grow up..

Most of these thoughts in my mind tell me,
that it is my choice...

and so I need to make the right,
more best choice.

So when I read this post above, all I can think about was this wonderful woman.

I met her as I started my mission in Eagar, AZ.

She was quiet and strong and in tune with the spirit. She has suffered adversity in the darkest of ways,

yet, she remained available to lift others and support her family.

As I thought about her words, so many of my own came to my mind.. along with some quotes from apostles.

The two following ideas, coupled with my passion to create, have helped me find a path. kinda

I would say to this woman of faith of Northern Arizona,

you followed a prompting to share this with me.

Thank you.

I have struggled to know where I fit in the Fine Art world,

for I am quite sensitive spiritually,

but I love creating.

I struggle to fit into the Wedding Industry too,

for I don't have the full passion

to become the

best photography or videographer

for those types of events.

But if you place me in a home,

with a family that tries their best to love.

That struggles to remember the huge picture,

I feel best fit.

What type of a career does this leave me?

I honestly am un sure

because the first thoughts that come to my mind is

motherhood.

That I belong in motherhood,

but as I remember I don't have a husband,

and thus far I have just been trying

to create my own home,

with.every.other.family.out.there.

And as I have recognized this,

I have been so blessed to drop everything to be

in Arizona with 5 or 6 families.

and here in Utah, I spend plenty of

time with new little young families.

Because I don't partake in my own motherhood or wifehood yet,

does not mean I cannot enjoy the blessings of families.

For this is what I strive to accomplish artistically.

My Grandfather

2011-08-08T10:54:00.000-06:00

My grandfather always said:

"I will know I was a good father by the way my grandchildren turn out."

I think about this often, and always want to keep the honor

to my grandfather.

When he passed away, we were sad, yet not alone.

We only lived a couple blocks from him, so we visited him often.

He was a man of honor, so when his funeral came, early that morning, we picked up Roxy from her mission:

Then headed to the funeral..

The day was filled with a spirit of sacrifice that lives in our hearts and minds today:

Dear Grandpa, you did great!

We carry your legacy.

(view original post for videos)

Who Am I.

2011-08-07T13:44:00.001-06:00

As you know, I am moving to the East coast in three weeks.

Recently, I have been asked to shoot many of my friends' wedding.

More are getting married this summer than last or the one before.

Alas, I have to tell them, I'm moving.

And I feel sad, not because I don't get to edit all those photos,

because I won't be able to share in the memory with them.

And then I wonder, and realize,

The camera for me is a vehicle to be closer to you.

Yes, I will use that through words, but life is too short to just document

with words.

As you have probably noticed. I will use headbands and home made videos,

i will photograph to keep the closest.

But let at night.

I lay awake with a sense of unease.

I understand who I am

and I understand who I am not.

But I often times identify who I am but what I do.

The greatest things I have learned about life and myself were found when

I served others, thought about where I came from.

this changes me.

because I don't know if I will always sell headbands, photos and videos,

but I know who I am.

view original post and video here

August Visiting Teaching Highlights.

2011-08-07T08:51:00.003-06:00

To do and be.

HOW MANY KIDS SHOULD YOU HAVE?

2011-08-06T12:01:00.001-06:00

Dad, Mom, Hollie

trevor, shellie, roxy, me, hollie

Me and hollie

it's an overwhelmingly good feeling,

when I think about how perfect my family is...

Perfect meaning...

each one is meant to be

...complete...

Completing our family.

and for the siblings not in the photos,

we seriously talked about

you all the time

at the dinner table.

Everyone was seated for the prayer, and someone would say:

ARE WE MISSING SOMEONE?

and we always were.

and then we waited patiently for our mother to have 8 kids in 11 years.

until we got this one:

And its crazy how much this little guy has completed our family. Yes we waited for a boy for a long time.... and then we got him and we dressed him up as a girl.

I love you Alex.

2011

And I'm sorry if you feel like I'm hard on you, or overbearing spiritually.

I just want the best for you.

We are so excited for tomorrow.

Congratulations on your court of honor.

Our family was not complete or perfect until we had you.

Its friday

2011-08-05T11:25:00.000-06:00

2011-08-02T01:03:00.001-06:00

P.S. ITS SHARK WEEK

2011-07-31T23:06:00.000-06:00

Sometimes.

2011-07-30T09:04:00.000-06:00

I just started reading this book.

And I've really liked it.

"Weakness and sin are very different.

Weakness and strength are not."

WHY NYC

2011-07-26T09:56:00.000-06:00

Bare with me, I have been told I think too much,

which after thinking alot about it,

I dont think that is possible.

I'm 28 and not married. This is fine, but some days I want that life, the married life.

Other days, the ones spent in Peru, on the Inca Trail, and others spent running alone

in the mountains, I could spent my mortality solo.

I graduate this past April, as a BFA student we are strongly encouraged to take a year off to build our portfolios and apply for an MFA,

In preparation for that I decided to apply for some jobs outside NYC.

This was December 2010,

I was well received and anticipated moving there after I graduated College.

A month later, I received a phone call from a couple in Queen Creek, AZ.

(I served my mission here, and was cared for by so many good people)

They were asked to return to the mission field, but needed someone to water their

orchard and look after their property.

It seemed perfect. There are so many good guys down there.

The weather is my ideal.

CITRUS GROVE...serious.

The phone came at a time when I was totally open for change.

so with my application floating around NYC, I just pursued Arizona.

However, the more I fasted and prayed about where and what I wanted to do,

Arizona made less sense to me.

Once I was on the orchard, the 3 of us recognized this wasn't the BEST place for me in my life at this time with the goals that I am working towards.

AZ was plan A for 6 months now.

While in Tuscon, I followed up on my applications on the East Coast, to only here an

immediate response that was depressing. They said they hadn't heard from me in months and had thrown out my resume and application, but still remembered how strong it was.

They asked me to re apply and told me there was no openings.

So there went plan B.

What was Plan C? Living in Ogden. I did not want to do that.

I had spent the past 6 months, compiling a list of all my crushes,

giving them extra attention and ultimately asking them out

or making bold advances to them.

There was about 6 on this list, which all told me they were not interested.

I never even made it to first base... first base...being one date.

A free meal for them...

Dummies.

So I just took matters into my own hands.

I have no idea why I will be in 2 years, 5 years or tomorrow,

but I have always tried to live accordingly and have never let myself down.

30 minutes after NYC rejected me, a company emails me, with two offers for a job.

They came after I pursued and after I thought there was nothing.

By Julyish I had made my choice to move East.

And so it is.

I'll be working for a family in Fairfield County, CT,

A train ride to the City,

I will be there until at least May, working part time,

and pushing my video, photo and headbands into the city.

As I pursue graduate school in WHO KNOWS WHAT?! Thats the next step.

fic·ti·tious

2011-07-20T11:22:00.000-06:00

You must know I am so particular when I choose to read a book.

And on top of that, if I'm going to read a book,

I'm going to do it right, with pencil or marker in hand and straight line

to highlight and write in the margins.

Now you must be thinking....

What type of notes can you be writing in your Harry Potter book, or

better yet Twilight series?????

How to fall in love with pasty people?

Please.

You see I have a small weakness,

I don't read fiction for the following reasons.

1. GB tells me: One's perspective is their own reality. Which kinda teaches me that

some people imagine things up. So why read books of others imagination when we have our own.

I do appreciate fiction, but it's last on my lists of books to read.

a. I was humbled in this thought, when I recently finished the book

Teach Ye Diligently by Boyd K. Packer,

in which he states the importance of an imagination, helps us to make the intangible, tangible.

OK, okay, I agree. I'll work on it. but I move slowly, not in haste and will research the fic·ti·tious book that can belong on my list.

any referrals?

2. I love life and learning. The realness and reality that there is truth found everyday brings me a sense of hunger, and that quench is filled as I built relationships with others, which has been a result of the types and kinds of books I read.

3. Too much knowledge in the world, how do I even come to find what is best ?

___________________________________________

So this is my preface, I'll be updating my blog, with reviews within reviews of the chapters and lines I read in the book. My retention should be higher.. All of ours should.

2011-07-20T00:42:00.000-06:00

I love summer so much, its quite ridiculous.

The smell, the feels and the pure sense of freedom swoon my heart.

I think about my level of happiness....

The scale is un compared to anything else.

I appreciate the snow and love to watch the leaves fall,

I prefer to play soccer in the rain.

But if push came to shove, I'm a summer girl all the way.

I breath it in and out and think about it often.

the dripping sweat

The slight sun burned freckles. i feel it all.

and I try to make up excuses that everything will be better in the summer.

and now that summer is here, is it proving to be all that I have talked it up to be?

I've talked it up so much...

It may just all be in my mind... but man, this scenery is nice.