15 October 2009

Who Do I think I am? Who do you think you are?

The Blueprints of my life are a recent development.

.They were always there but never looked at closely. It was a vague visual, to say the least. I haven't been given any set of rules, and as much as I would like it {love it}, there is no man to walk beside me and hold my hand as I pursue the aspects of life on a day-to-day basis. I hold hands with principles that have always been able to lead, guide and walk beside me.

And so I write in response to my life, this semester! {Yes, I still live life in semesters}

I used to hear the echoes, but now I feel them.

“You’re crazy!”

I was told this when I signed up for 18 credits, 6 courses. This is a continuous response for my simple choice to add a couple more classes to my semester. But that phrase is never taken literally. At least it wasn't literal the first time I heard it and at least not literal enough to get me upset.

However it has been repeated so many times, my ears are tired of telling my mind "Yes, that person just called you crazy TOO."

{Quick tangent: What about the people that have been diagnosed crazy? The ones that truly are a tad bit insane. How do they feel about that phrase being thrown out right and left? It is a clinical illness right? “Jenny, you are taking 18 credits and running two businesses, you’re anorexic, ha-ha!” I know that is a stretch but I think it illustrates my point of using a clinical disorder as an everyday term. So anyways, what if I am truly literally insane, what if I am clinically crazy?

I am 26 now, I don't have insurance and I honestly don't have the time to go and make an appointment to sit in a waiting room and wait and wait and watch people {although that is fun} and wait and then listen to someone certified to tell me I am crazy. I get that from people around me. Why make appointments? It’s like a drive through diagnostic. I think that is a great health care plan if you ask me. Watch out President Obama, Jenny 2012}

Dear Users of the phrase “you’re crazy”-

Please COME UP WITH A NEW PHRASE... USE THE REAL WORDS... EITHER I AM REALLY CRAZY... or those people lack the ability to view things as they really are. And in defense of those people I did some research to my concern and unregretful, those people are more wrong now then before I pursued my quest to be right. The definition of crazy is defined as the following:

1- brainsick: affected with madness or insanity; "a man who had gone mad"
2-foolish; totally unsound; "a crazy scheme"; "half-baked ideas"; "a screwball proposal without a prayer of working"
3-possessed by inordinate excitement; "the crowd went crazy"; "was crazy to try his new bicycle"
4-bizarre or fantastic; "had a crazy dream"; "wore a crazy hat"
5-someone deranged and possibly dangerous
6-intensely enthusiastic about or preoccupied with; "crazy about cars and racing"; "he is potty about her"

Another interesting fact is that the Antonyms of the word crazy are the following {please keep in mind, people call me crazy for pursuing a degree} ok, go: balanced, realistic, reasonable, responsible, sane, sensible, smart

The Following are things about me that others consider crazy, but to me they are a part of those principles that hold my hand.

1. The Fashion Fast.
Yes, can you believe that? I questioned my strength but never my mental stability to not buy clothes. People thought I was so crazy for going a whole year without buying clothing. When people hear I actually accomplished it, they still call me crazy! At this point I am ready for a different phrase besides crazy. Here are some examples: "WOW, Jenny, Good job!" "I would never do that, I don't see the point!" "Jenny, what a great goal!"

You see they are plenty of ways to communicate without calling someone crazy. Call me sensible or smart, I bought a house instead of clothes.

2. Wearing Nylons in Tempe, AZ.
For those of you that don't know, I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I wore nylons every day. I didn't really wear knee-highs. FULL LENGTH NYLONS, I felt empowered, I was serving, and it was 116 degrees many days. I loved it and deemed it as a sacrifice. I was giving up something good for something better. And I often think after people say "WHAT! YOU ARE CRAZY?" or a little more clever way I have heard it is “WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?” Like they will really want me to answer that. Suppose I did hate wearing nylons. What would of came from that? Nothing horrible, I am sure of possible days I might arise from bed and think I really don’t want to wear nylons. That thought had no room in my life at that time, not in the whole scheme of things. So instead of hating it, I loved it and loving the extremes of life has blossomed some great fruit. I think that is realistic and sane.
3. Dislocating my ankle and being bed-ridden for 3 months, confide to the option of four things: A bed, A car, A wheelchair {yard sale find!} A car and my beloved crutches. Please do not tell me I’m crazy, I did not choose this situation.
I believe I have given numerous examples of where we should not use the phrase you are crazy. But it is also important to identify situation that do resemble craziness or tints of intensely enthusiastic emotion.
1. I kinda tried to kiss a boy that was kinda maybe sorta possibly asleep. (Oct 2009)
To me defense, he was exotic, spoke more than english, loved soccer, has a testimony of restored truth, owned soccer cleats and was in fact holding my hand and kinda sorta possibly started rubbing it, while kinda sorta maybe possibly asleep. HEY HE HELD MY HAND WHILE HE WAS AWAKE TOO!
2. Intensely enthusiastic is another form of hastiness for me. With that being said I asked another completely different guy if we could hold hands and I told him I “just want to see what is felt like.” He said no! “ We haven’t even been on a date yet!” “Well, We are sitting really close to each other, we are reading scriptures together and it’s evening.” “Jenny, a date, explained by Elder Oaks is paid for, planned and paired off.” “Well Paul, I think this is a date. I kinda planned it.” “Well, its not, you aren’t being serious.” I will never know how it feels to hold his hand. Later I realized I was more excited about the chase than the catch, however I may or may not have demonstrated some characteristics that lacked saneness. But nobody was calling me crazy then! {except maybe the kid, inside his head}
3. A man approaching me with a gun, due to my own actions.
4.Delivering watermelon to Police Officers in hopes of getting out of future citations



Toni Marie said...

"a screwball proposal without a prayer of working" that one's my fave. ha ha

mike said...

Jenny, just so you know, you have to be 35 to run for president. You'll only be 28 in 2012. In this scenario.

I like wearing nylons on hot days too (this is Mike), and people call me crazy, but I like it. I hope you're doing well.