Sometimes.

I just started reading this book.

And I've really liked it.

"Weakness and sin are very different.

Weakness and strength are not."

WHY NYC

Bare with me, I have been told I think too much, 

which after thinking alot about it,

I dont think that is possible.

I'm 28 and not married. This is fine, but some days I want that life, the married life.

Other days, the ones spent in Peru, on the Inca Trail, and others spent running alone 

in the mountains, I could spent my mortality solo.

I graduate this past April, as a BFA student we are strongly encouraged to take a year off to build our portfolios and apply for an MFA,

In preparation for that  I decided to apply for some jobs outside NYC.

This was December 2010,

I was well received and anticipated moving there after I graduated College.

A month later, I received a phone call from a couple in Queen Creek, AZ.

(I served my mission here, and was cared for by so many good people)

They were asked to return to the mission field, but needed someone to water their

orchard and look after their property.

It seemed perfect. There are so many good guys down there.

The weather is my ideal.

CITRUS GROVE...serious.

The phone came at a time when I was totally open for change.

so with my application floating around NYC, I just pursued Arizona.

However, the more I fasted and prayed about where and what I wanted to do,

Arizona made less sense to me.

Once I was on the orchard, the 3 of us recognized this wasn't the BEST place for me in my life at this time with the goals that I am working towards.

AZ was plan A for 6 months now.

While in Tuscon, I followed up on my applications on the East Coast, to only here an

immediate response that was depressing. They said they hadn't heard from me in months and had thrown out my resume and application, but still remembered how strong it was.

They asked me to re apply and told me there was no openings.

So there went plan B.

What was Plan C? Living in Ogden. I did not want to do that.

I had spent the past 6 months, compiling a list of all my crushes,

giving them extra attention and ultimately asking them out

or making bold advances to them.

There was about 6 on this list, which all told me they were not interested.

I never even made it to first base... first base...being one date.

A free meal for them...

Dummies.

So I just took matters into my own hands.

I have no idea why I will be in 2 years, 5 years or tomorrow, 

but I have always tried to live accordingly and have never let myself down.

30 minutes after NYC rejected me, a company emails me, with two offers for a job.

They came after I pursued and after I thought there was nothing.

By Julyish I had made my choice to move East.

And so it is.

I'll be working for a family in Fairfield County, CT,

A train ride to the City,

I will be there until at least May, working part time,

and pushing my video, photo and headbands into the city.

As I pursue graduate school in WHO KNOWS WHAT?! Thats the next step.

fic·ti·tious

You must know I am so particular when I choose to read a book.

And on top of that, if I'm going to read a book,

I'm going to do it right, with pencil or marker in hand and straight line

to highlight and write in the margins.

Now you must be thinking....

What type of notes can you be writing in your Harry Potter book, or 

better yet Twilight series?????

How to fall in love with pasty people?

Please.

You see I have a small weakness,

I don't read fiction for the following reasons.

1. GB tells me: One's perspective is their own reality. Which kinda teaches me that

some people imagine things up. So why read books of others imagination when we have our own.

I do appreciate fiction, but it's last on my lists of books to read.

a. I was humbled in this thought, when I recently finished the book

Teach Ye Diligently by Boyd K. Packer, 

in which he states the importance of an imagination, helps us to make the intangible, tangible.

OK, okay, I agree. I'll work on it. but I move slowly, not in haste and will research the fic·ti·tious book that can belong on my list.

any referrals?

2. I love life and learning. The realness and reality that there is truth found everyday brings me a sense of hunger, and that quench is filled as I built relationships with others, which has been a result of the types and kinds of books I read.

3. Too much knowledge in the world, how do I even come to find what is best ?

___________________________________________

So this is my preface, I'll be updating my blog, with reviews within reviews of the chapters and lines I read in the book. My retention should be higher.. All of ours should.

I love summer so much, its quite ridiculous.

The smell, the feels and the pure sense of freedom swoon my heart.

I think about my level of happiness....

The scale is un compared to anything else.

I appreciate the snow and love to watch the leaves fall,

I prefer to play soccer in the rain.

But if push came to shove, I'm a summer girl all the way.

I breath it in and out and think about it often.

the dripping sweat 

The slight sun burned freckles. i feel it all.

and I try to make up excuses that everything will be better in the summer.

and now that summer is here, is it proving to be all that I have talked it up to be?

I've talked it up so much...

It may just all be in my mind... but man, this scenery is nice.

I rode my bicycle past your window last night
I roller skated to your door at daylight
It almost seems like you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you got something I need

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out you see
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

I ride my bike, I roller skate, don't drive no car
Don't go too fast, but I go pretty far
For somebody who don't drive
I been all around the world
Some people say, I done all right for a girl

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out you see
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

I asked your mother if you were at home
She said, yes .. but you weren't alone
Oh, sometimes I think that you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you've got something I need

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them out to see
La la la la la la la la, la la la la la la
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

ANYTHING IS A BLESSING

Sensing Silence, 

I used to feel weakened.

But it seems this same silence

has moved me forward to

so many greater things.

I made this slide show,

before I jumped into video

Something about sound and text

has always moved my emotions

always

Anything is a Blessing

____________________________

I bought my hair stylist breakfast.

I went to one of her favorite breakfast places:

The Hole in Roy,

They serve donuts and the breakfast sandwiches are made with

Homemade bagels and croissants.

I call ahead on my way out there, so the meal is hot and ready when I get there,

but as I am being rung up

 I decide to order more than she asks for.

And since I'm not eating out at any place with a drive thru or fast food,

I already know it isnt for me. 

____________I imagine it being a surprise for her______________

_____________________________________________________________________

I drive back to the salon, 

As I drive, I think about my purpose 

In the salon today, We are trying to achieve “Heavenly Father blonde”

You know the color, the ones babies are born with and the sun kisses

Ever so lightly. yet it is so hard to obtain

with any type of license, or bleach.

But were attempting it anyways.

______________________________________________________________

As I exit the freeway and roll up to 31st and Wall avenue in Ogden,

There are two turning lanes, and the far left is empty

And I see why,

 next to the emptiness,

there is a man, leathered by the sun,

ironically, his hair is light blond,

so similar to what I imagined for myself.

It looks perfect, but his hair is matted under his hat,

He has light blue eyes and he is thin as thin.

I quickly think of what I can give him as I pull up to a stop
in the far left lane,

(Last time I gave away some un opened packs of gum

To the resident of this corner)

But today, today was new day, new man,

And no gum. I look at the red light

 The red light becomes a tender mercy,

its for me to grow,

I turn off my music.

My heart is pounding a little harder now, for all I have is my hair dresser's breakfast.

Standing close to the curb, he holds a sign

it reads:

ANYTHING IS A BLESSING.

I fill a pit in my stomach,

my heart is now depending on my mind to make the best choice at this moment.

I rolled down the window.

I grab the drink and the straw:

"Do you like Dr. Pepper?" I ask him.

(I know my hair dresser sure does)

"Thank you." he responds.

His smile is soft.

The light is still red. 

I roll my window up.

I watch him, still holding the sign

he faces East toward the sunrise and lowers his head

His hands come together.

He looks as though he is thanking the Lord,

and in that moment, 

I wanted to join him, and thank the Lord

for the moment I learned that

ANYTHING IS A BLESSING




________________


Happy Independence Day

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