22 June 2008

My Own Left Overs

One of the greatest Dads I have ever met, passed away this week, and it's all I have been able to think about. I've cried everyday since. I'm away in Arizona and feel so helpless. But I do want any blog reader to know the importance of details in one's life. For me it pertains to LEFT OVERS.
This post is dedicated to Rachel's Daddy, the man that always made me feel loved by the Lord. You may or may not know that Rachel and I were inseparable friends through out high school. I spend many hours in the kitchen helping with dishes and then eating all their food. I don't think they minded much, it seemed like a good trade at the time because they always let me come back and they knew they could count on me to eat the leftovers, I'm sure that is how all of you remember me.
My love for Salmon was deepened by Oneal. I always loved fish, but one particular Sunday, a couples weeks home from Alaska, he taught me how to prepare and cook salmon his special way. I think I loved it more than anyone else at the table. I probably ate Rachel's' too(I don't think she like fish). Be not afraid, I ate the left overs too. I prepare it his way when I make it for others.

I have never treasured a recipe more in my life than now.

When Rachel and I were probably 15, the missionaries came over to the Wilcox home for dinner. Remember crushing Elders at that age! gross! I did until I sat by Oneal and he mediated the dinner conversation, using his eyes more than words to describe the reverence he was looking for at the table. If the spirit was out the door he brought it back to the table. I think all of you can picture your own fathers doing similar things.
Another time Rachel and I got this great idea to make a fire pit in her backyard. Okay I am sure it was mostly my idea, hence the fire involved. So we went to work, shovels, maybe gloves and we dug until we were tired, at which point we had barely broken ground and we would go back to it every other day, just to see if the hole maybe got bigger by itself. It didn't. Needless to say, we never finished it and we saw the disappointed look on Sara and Oneal's faces. I am sure they were thinking, these girls can ran a miles in and under 6 miles, do two a days in the summer, multiple soccer games in one day, but can't seem to finish a project they promised they'd finish!
Oneal was the type of dad that sent you out to collect raspberries for jam and ice cream and he knew really well, you'd eat 3/4 of them before returning and he was still happy to see you, I know I'm guilty!
One of my favorite times was after soccer practice they had family scripture study and of course I made myself comfortable, it was a normal reading, in the middle chapters of First Nephi, when we started loosing concentration and our eyes wandered. This usually only happens to the kids but tonight Rachel's mom Sara started it and once she starts laughing, it is so funny. She got us laughing and the spiritual leader had to lay down the law, getting after his wife mostly, without trying to laugh himself.
I already miss him on a level I didn't know existed for me. A Father to even me, by opening his arms, heart, family study and left overs.
I keep going back to that, the left overs I have of the memories of him and the way he always made me feel.
I MAY NOT REMEMBER ALL THE THINGS HE SAID BUT I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE WAY HE MADE ME FEEL. Those are the details in our lives that will affect us through out eternity. I hope and pray that I can be rededicated to helping others as Oneal helped me.
Think about it through out the week: People will not remember the things you said as much as they will remember the way you made them feel.


Becky said...

I remember going over to their house all the time in middle school. And you are right-they had a very spiritual home and what a great family! I think I had scripture study there a couple times, and I just remember always feeling so loved there. He will be missed and my heart goes out to their family!

jackie said...

There was never a unhappy memory. Even when he was trying to be stern- his eyes shined! What a great tribute to him from your eyes Jenny. It's always good to remember the fun memories we will always keep with us. I'm glad we have the gospel- it helps boyancy me in times like this.

Notes From My Underbelly said...

I am so happy you wrote that! He was such a nice man. I do remember the way he made me feel! He always made me feel important, and I did not know him all that well, but he always went out of his way at soccer games and such to tell me I did a good job or just hello! Rachel is an amazing person, as well as Sarah! They are in our prayers and our thoughts at this time!