Dear Loud Family,


There is more coming..... But thank you... all of you.

I loved being in your home. And feeling at home. Thank you for the opportunity to document your legacy!






Jenny H.

Merry Christmas Josh!




I am grateful.

do you see that little guy? That is Josh, in Moab.

He ran all the way over there so I could have a picture of him.

3 hours After.. A true day of peaks and pits

3 Hours after Josh's dad called, I received a phone call from a Californian Photographer Leila Jones. She asked me to be her second shooter at a wedding the next day at the Bountiful Temple. I tried to be the best I could over the telephone but I was hurting and I knew I needed something to take my mind off of Josh. my thoughts needed a release. Then I thought about Josh and how much he encouraged me to BE. BE the better part of myself, BE ready, just BE.


I accepted with a cheerful heart, and I have no regrets.

Look at these two love birds.

I loved documenting their love, their committment and their joy.



And it came to pass, that we lived after the manner of happiness - 2 Nephi 5:27



Thank you Chase and Becca for allowing me an opportunity to share in your special day.

I bawled before I set foot on the grounds and when I left the Temple grounds. A true day of peaks and pits

My Favorite

He passed away last night. I have no idea what to do and all I want is to be numb from the pain. Peace and pain are passing through my heart together. I want you to know, what you love about me is because I got it from this kid. I wanted to be just like him when I grew up and someone as we grew up we raised each other.

He called me his favorite and sometimes I didn't know why.

If you have ever had a good back massage by my hands, it's because they were trained on his back.

If I have ever assisted you on the soccer field, it was because he taught me how to give a good ball.

If I have ever made you laugh, it was because he gave me the confidence to be silly.


If you have ever lost to me in a leg war, Josh knows how you feel. {okay, probably not}

if I have ever gotten your braces in your mouth stuck to the carpet, I'm sorry, BUT Josh DID IT TO ME FIRST.

If you ever let me love you, it was because he let me love him, quite a bit actually.

The memories of goodness flood my mind, there are no words to say how much I owe josh for loving me back.

I know that his capacity to support is beyond my abilities. The confidence that I wear on my sleeve, he lent it to me freely.

I know that his gentleness was recognized and well received by many.

I know that he loved me more than I could ever love myself.


My wonderment for connection between two people was met by him.

and I already miss him like crazy!

To the only boy I have truly fallen in love with: Josh,

Thank you for being you! Thank you for letting me shovel your neighbors' walks with you.
Thank you for the adolescent crushes in high school and the blossomed relationship post.
Thank you for sending me on a mission.


Love,

Your Favorite

I didn't get married

My grades are posted. {except for a photo class} I looked at them. No A's, well A-, but I don't call them an A because the next thing after an A is a B. The minus does not belong in the alphabet. It belongs in math! I must have missed that verse in the alphabet song!

I still remained on the honor roll, which tempts me to take 18-21 credits again in the spring. But lets face it. Let's recap what didn't happen because I was spreading myself too thin.

1. My room remained messy. I cleaned it here and there, but not everywhere.
2. I only held one boy's hand.. WHAT A HORRIBLE STAT.
3. I turned down photo shoots because I took a saturday LOWER DIVISION photo class. Please do not ask specific question regarding this, It was a mistake borderline sin. It was like I was punishing myself or something.
4. Travelling = ZERO
5. I did not submit any artwork into any shows.
6. social life= ZERO
7. soccer= ZERO
8. Weight gained.

If my dad were to compile a list of what didn't happen, there would be one thing and one thing only on that list.

1. I didn't get married.


gosh, that is such a great list. It is all I really ever asked for. Who needs Santa?! Just slab on the credits! extra gravy please! Partial sadness if you ask me. So now i need to reverse the list...

So............
I am enrolled in Spring but will be doing an apprentice under Steve Jobs. You see, he dropped out of college but still attended. He attended courses that interested him, but opted for the non credit audit part of it. So that is my plan, you know, putting all my swweeettt stalker moves into action.you know lurking around the students with their homework. WHO DOES THAT? it's weird sounding but I can't wait.
I am taking 12 credits but will make cameo appearances in the following courses.

Jewelry II {bookbinding purposes}
History of utah {COOL}
all the design for the internet courses
Studio Lighting
Photography Seminar
Art Teaching Methods

I'll attend every blue moon to ease the pain of spreading myself to thin, you see, I'm an addict, RECOVERING OF COURSE.

Its also the legislative sessions, since mi padre works there 45 days straight I was thinking I should probably find a husband this semester, but I am uncertain if our foundation should be started politically, however, I do need to make sure he can hold his own.


yes, It's been that cold. my ears need warmth.

The whimsical business is going well.

Finals Finally Finalizing over

There are no words or images.....

I am done and through with 18 credits, next semester


Test and text tile dying course

bachelors of fine art seminar

illustration

plant in human affairs

There will be running and I made free time. I actually made it, cool huh.

Indoor soccer and the purchase of that new camera is pending...days...

I raced the sunlight on Thanksgiving morning. The canals of Willard steamed as the sun began to rise. The sunrise was on my tail. Tempted to stop, and set up the tripod and turn on the bulb setting, the scenery was lovely, and I was basking in my own gratitude. I didn't stop because me and the D90 were racing the sun on Thanksgiving morning.

(You see, the sun comes up first in Ogden and then wraps it's light north, around the three peaked mountains in Willard. President Packer calls them the Presidency. In all their majesty and glory, he is right. )


I did a family shoot in the chill of the morning before the turkey was even prepared. and way before we lose sight of the holiday because we can't see over our stomachs.

I am glad I was up that early on that day. Not for the turkey, but for the experience to race the light and then chase the light through the lens of a camera.

Dear Buck Family,

I will never mail this letter, but you must know that I had a very enjoyable time, despite the 31.5 degrees. It was for a good cause and good causes are good memories in my book.

I loved watching your kids "cheese" out loud. Know that I didn't capture anything that didn't already exist before. You all love each other and I felt it and the frost on the ground knew it too because it seemed to melt in your presence.

I am grateful to be the one to capture your gratitude this season.


Jenny

I cried alot, more specifically 11:15a.m. to 12:15 p.m.. Out of sheer gratitude.

I attended a family sealing of a dear childhood/teenage friend.
She lived with our family during the high school days when my Father was a Bishop. We grew pretty close.
Which really means, She walked in on me in the bathroom. It wasn't her fault though:
1. The bathroom door was open.
2. The light wasn't on.
3. It was well after midnight. It is the funniest memory of our friendship. But this bench mark memory is tucked away after today's experience.

Oh I love this lady. I have random memories of her and the word that is surfacing in my mind now is independence.
She taught me this, not through her words but through her own ability to work hard for what she wanted, or more less
what she needed in her life.
She has the ability to build her own foundation of faith.



This weekend she strengthened this rock with a sealing to her two new boys. Adopted about one year ago. Both handicap. They have the same mother and
different dads.

They illuminated the sealing room by their very presence, in a way that touch my own heart and soul. I teared, okay I cried, cried so continuously, I had those awesome red and pink spots around my eyes. I believe those are by products of gratitude.

A day to be remember and an experience never to be forgotten. Thank you for living your life in such a way that I might partake of your brightness of hope, love and determination.

xoxo

I'm going there some day.

A boutique, If you want to be a vendor let me know, and more info is coming. It will be off of 2nd and wall near the Ogden Business Depot.



This will be a neat one to attend! and my promises are never hollow!

This lady was a joy to photograph! I wish her the best in her in journey of "wifehood"

I am grateful for her.

I took these pictures today.
I make them model for my bands:
(other siblings, you will have a turn as well :) lucky u ) (anyone else out that want alittle whimsical shoot?)

This is one of my sisters. She is the sixth of eight of us children. She got married when I was serving my mission. She is pregnant with her second child, even though the photograph speaks otherwise, she is due late spring. She is quite opinionated, much like myself. We are very similar in our stubborn thought process ( a righteous stubborness, if that exists) and we relate very well. I don't get to see her a whole lot nowadays (not as much I as would like, but I have truly enjoyed being an older sister to her. She is a senior in college, like me, but she is 21ish. Her birthday is two days after me. We have shared many birthday cakes. She is a good sport, in many avenues.

I am grateful for her and my list of gratitude grows when I think about her.

This is one of my sisters. She is the fourth of the eight of us children. So she has kind of been raised by four different parents. She is the oldest of the kids that were raised by the transitional "this is the way it is" to the "semi chill" Ma and Pa. She defines CHILL, seriously look it up, she will be there, just hanging out, or cleaning. She isn't quite Danny Tanner clean but she can use a vacuum like nobody's business. That is a memory of her engrained in my youthful childhood memories in my mind. We would clear the floor of debri and she would bring it home! She grew a testimony of laughter before anything else. When you see her laugh, you think, "i want that!" Not in a coveting way but admiring feeling. We see each other often in the exchange that when she is off work I am on. :( She likes to shop and when I ask :When did you get that.?"


This little grin cracks her lips and she says "When you were workin for me" I have truly enjoyed being an older sister to her. We play soccer together and she is the only sister I would be alittle nervous to get in a fist fight with, and that is because we kinda have already, back in the day ofcourse when you arent supposed to get along with siblings. Of course kicking was involved which is my strength. But watch out for her upper cut. You think I'm kidding. I ain't.

I am grateful for her and my list of gratitude grows when I think about her.


Yes, her nails are painted pink.
Yes, she is a quarter persian.
Yes, she is single, but not available, she's awaiting a little brother or sister.
Yes, repeatedly falling in love with her is a reality.
Yes, she is the second of two nieces.
Yes, she transcends every color she wears.
Maybe, might, possible, she may type faster than me on a laptop.

Being grateful is capital "E" easy when you are around this lady!

new addition

Buy a headband, send me to Peru for school and service



The lovely and very amazing Cami Dunn from Arizona shot this awesome engagement shoot with a WHIMSICAL HEADBAND!

I MADE IT!

I have been accepted to the Bachelors of Fine Art, aka BFA, with a emphasis in two dimensional art!

I will leave college with a large portfolio that will define who I am artistically, (is that a word)

From hand bound books
sketch books

letterpress

officially break up cards..

And of course my back bone: PHOTOGRAPHY!!

Watch out world!

Leave Me from Daros Films on Vimeo.

I did a shoot on halloween with this little gap model!

Happy halloween, and better yet, Happy Sabbath!

IS MONDAY READY FOR ME? I DOUBT IT

My application for the Bachelors of Fine Art is up. I feed a friend some green and red curry and he helped me hang pieces professionally. He has alot of knowledge in curating so it was actually fun.

I will be posting pictures this week.

But you must know, I have been extremely happy lately. There are things I would like to change in my life, but even as I plan for those, I commend my good thoughts and happiness.

We are selling headbands like crazy. Okay not crazy, but the pace they are selling at is pleasing to me.

I am saving for Weber State Study Abroad program in Peru. It's May 27th and I may go to new york city to visit Karen and her husband, and the one and only Ms. Heiser.

I was also a nanny outside the city and I want to visit them as well. It has been 8 years and the boys I nannied are growing to be small men.

I have also been commissioned to photograph parts of Ogden, so I a prepping for that.

One of my professors commissions me to make greetings cards for her. Personalized and all.





This one is cut off only on my blog :(






Let me know if you guys need any cards made, or if you like these. They are 2.00 each.

Life is good.
I have no complaints. I have no ill thoughts and when I do, I usually stub my toe, which completely gives way to another thought process.

I am developing new plans to help people out more. Serving them in compliments, instead of just thinking how great they are.
I am serving to forget about all that is going on in my life.

It happens when you are my age and single, going to school, running businesses.

In fact my happiness can not be type out in words.

I am laughing alot, you know it. The laughing that evolves into stomach hurt crying.

I am building relationships with good people, friends.

Tell me about faith. I have it, but I want the faith of Abraham. I want the faith that deems a worthy sacrifice everyday.

Tomorrow is the Day!

I submit my BFA application

Sabbath Thought

I am naturally happy and even enjoy being sad sometimes.
I think it is because those moments are in short segments.
I believe in smiling.
I believe in depth of character.

I believe our character is like a plant that
can only manifest itself as we cultivate it.


I still act up sometimes.

I say silly things, but the remorse is so
much quicker and for this I am grateful.


I really miss my missionary planner.
my life had a plan and it had a back up plan
and my life happened in increments of
3o minutes.

Most of my planners have tints of brown sweat left on them.
I worked hard, and I miss working hard. It's like I don't know
how to work as hard anymore.

I try but not every half an hour.

Who Do I think I am? Who do you think you are?

The Blueprints of my life are a recent development.

.They were always there but never looked at closely. It was a vague visual, to say the least. I haven't been given any set of rules, and as much as I would like it {love it}, there is no man to walk beside me and hold my hand as I pursue the aspects of life on a day-to-day basis. I hold hands with principles that have always been able to lead, guide and walk beside me.

And so I write in response to my life, this semester! {Yes, I still live life in semesters}

I used to hear the echoes, but now I feel them.

“You’re crazy!”

I was told this when I signed up for 18 credits, 6 courses. This is a continuous response for my simple choice to add a couple more classes to my semester. But that phrase is never taken literally. At least it wasn't literal the first time I heard it and at least not literal enough to get me upset.

However it has been repeated so many times, my ears are tired of telling my mind "Yes, that person just called you crazy TOO."

{Quick tangent: What about the people that have been diagnosed crazy? The ones that truly are a tad bit insane. How do they feel about that phrase being thrown out right and left? It is a clinical illness right? “Jenny, you are taking 18 credits and running two businesses, you’re anorexic, ha-ha!” I know that is a stretch but I think it illustrates my point of using a clinical disorder as an everyday term. So anyways, what if I am truly literally insane, what if I am clinically crazy?

I am 26 now, I don't have insurance and I honestly don't have the time to go and make an appointment to sit in a waiting room and wait and wait and watch people {although that is fun} and wait and then listen to someone certified to tell me I am crazy. I get that from people around me. Why make appointments? It’s like a drive through diagnostic. I think that is a great health care plan if you ask me. Watch out President Obama, Jenny 2012}

Dear Users of the phrase “you’re crazy”-

Please COME UP WITH A NEW PHRASE... USE THE REAL WORDS... EITHER I AM REALLY CRAZY... or those people lack the ability to view things as they really are. And in defense of those people I did some research to my concern and unregretful, those people are more wrong now then before I pursued my quest to be right. The definition of crazy is defined as the following:

1- brainsick: affected with madness or insanity; "a man who had gone mad"
2-foolish; totally unsound; "a crazy scheme"; "half-baked ideas"; "a screwball proposal without a prayer of working"
3-possessed by inordinate excitement; "the crowd went crazy"; "was crazy to try his new bicycle"
4-bizarre or fantastic; "had a crazy dream"; "wore a crazy hat"
5-someone deranged and possibly dangerous
6-intensely enthusiastic about or preoccupied with; "crazy about cars and racing"; "he is potty about her"

Another interesting fact is that the Antonyms of the word crazy are the following {please keep in mind, people call me crazy for pursuing a degree} ok, go: balanced, realistic, reasonable, responsible, sane, sensible, smart

The Following are things about me that others consider crazy, but to me they are a part of those principles that hold my hand.

1. The Fashion Fast.
Yes, can you believe that? I questioned my strength but never my mental stability to not buy clothes. People thought I was so crazy for going a whole year without buying clothing. When people hear I actually accomplished it, they still call me crazy! At this point I am ready for a different phrase besides crazy. Here are some examples: "WOW, Jenny, Good job!" "I would never do that, I don't see the point!" "Jenny, what a great goal!"

You see they are plenty of ways to communicate without calling someone crazy. Call me sensible or smart, I bought a house instead of clothes.

2. Wearing Nylons in Tempe, AZ.
For those of you that don't know, I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I wore nylons every day. I didn't really wear knee-highs. FULL LENGTH NYLONS, I felt empowered, I was serving, and it was 116 degrees many days. I loved it and deemed it as a sacrifice. I was giving up something good for something better. And I often think after people say "WHAT! YOU ARE CRAZY?" or a little more clever way I have heard it is “WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?” Like they will really want me to answer that. Suppose I did hate wearing nylons. What would of came from that? Nothing horrible, I am sure of possible days I might arise from bed and think I really don’t want to wear nylons. That thought had no room in my life at that time, not in the whole scheme of things. So instead of hating it, I loved it and loving the extremes of life has blossomed some great fruit. I think that is realistic and sane.
3. Dislocating my ankle and being bed-ridden for 3 months, confide to the option of four things: A bed, A car, A wheelchair {yard sale find!} A car and my beloved crutches. Please do not tell me I’m crazy, I did not choose this situation.
I believe I have given numerous examples of where we should not use the phrase you are crazy. But it is also important to identify situation that do resemble craziness or tints of intensely enthusiastic emotion.
1. I kinda tried to kiss a boy that was kinda maybe sorta possibly asleep. (Oct 2009)
To me defense, he was exotic, spoke more than english, loved soccer, has a testimony of restored truth, owned soccer cleats and was in fact holding my hand and kinda sorta possibly started rubbing it, while kinda sorta maybe possibly asleep. HEY HE HELD MY HAND WHILE HE WAS AWAKE TOO!
2. Intensely enthusiastic is another form of hastiness for me. With that being said I asked another completely different guy if we could hold hands and I told him I “just want to see what is felt like.” He said no! “ We haven’t even been on a date yet!” “Well, We are sitting really close to each other, we are reading scriptures together and it’s evening.” “Jenny, a date, explained by Elder Oaks is paid for, planned and paired off.” “Well Paul, I think this is a date. I kinda planned it.” “Well, its not, you aren’t being serious.” I will never know how it feels to hold his hand. Later I realized I was more excited about the chase than the catch, however I may or may not have demonstrated some characteristics that lacked saneness. But nobody was calling me crazy then! {except maybe the kid, inside his head}
3. A man approaching me with a gun, due to my own actions.
4.Delivering watermelon to Police Officers in hopes of getting out of future citations

I WILL BE PUTTING STORY NUMBER ONE ON THE PRIVATE BLOG I GIVE EXTRA ATTENTION very very soon

Sierra! Anytime!

Book your shoot today, tomorrow and forever!

This is my favorite mission companion, okay well I have others. But this chick has always made me feel enormously talented!

{as a sister missionary, and as a professional photographer}

She has an ability to serve, to sacrifice and to love.

Her legacy is built in her courage to do what makes her happy, and for this I follow her legacy and document it.

For the beauty she beholds and the outgoing laughter she gives. Thank you Sierra, for your legacy lives!







Yes these images have copyrights, Please let their home be only on this blog! Thanks! {plus they aren't edited}